12.4.16

happy birthday flykra


one time i had a dream that it was the birthday of my sister, flykra. 

flykra didn't want to go into the family mustard business. instead she became a dancer. she and her husband, roger, started a dance troupe called "peace weavers," they're dedicated to promoting ideas and raising awareness and blah blah blah blah blah...

my birthday wishes were a little late, but i'm still waiting for my christmas present from flykra. 

my pet fish, bubbles, called them a bunch of do-gooders. i told him that he was just jealous because his sister was a no good bum. he didn't argue because his sister, cinnabar, fell off the trestle.

"well, at least i don't have a brother-in-law." bubbles replied. 





1.4.16

sold!


one time i had a dream that i sold caulkin mustards to mr loops for an obscenely large amount of money. 

loops had to take on considerable debt to make this acquisition. in order to recuperate his loss and repay his creditors loops raised the mustard prices and lowered the quality.

people don't like it when you do that, bubbles said.

that's why they went out of business, i told him.

i also sold caulkin hall as part of the deal.