nephelometers

one time i had a dream that people were using pocket nephelometers to measure the most ridiculous things. 

they were even measuring my mustard. 

my pet fish, bubbles, said they should have used a secchi dish because the zeta potentials could cause bottle shock.

mustard high school

one time i had a dream that there was a rebellion at the mustard high school.

the students took over and locked up the professors. they didn't lock me up, but i couldn't leave either. they barricaded the facility. i was there as moutardier in residence. 

that night they broke into the school's hidden cellars of mustard and consumed the vintage reserves. 

ultimately, the rebellion was crushed using helicopters and catsup guns.

rooftop roger

one time i had a dream that the math man, rooftop roger, wanted to stay up all night solving problems.

every time i told him that i was going to bed, he'd say "aw, 'cmon man! one more solution. i've already got an equation lined up for you."

my pet fish, bubbles, told him he could graph it.

cough syrup

one time i had a dream that ms. rathangan invited us to the city -where she kept her underground cough syrup collection.

she told us that they were alphabetized. 

blue mountain panther

one time i had a dream that the blue mountains panther could create mustard by using its family crest