may day

one time i had a dream that all the important people were lining up to salute the flag.

bubbles, my pet-fish, said it was a may day celebration.

mirror face

one time i had a dream that i got caught making faces in the mirror and it got stuck that way for a year.

my pet-fish, bubbles, said that technically, it was for a year and a day.

i told him that he was missing the point of this cautionary tale.

quarters

one time i had a dream that collecting bicentennial quarters was good for your health.

the problem was, they were getting harder to find.

nagging voices

one time i had a dream that the nagging voices of controversy and ideological purity still haunted me. 

bubbles, my pet-fish, said that all ideologies must be evaluated in terms of their relationship to the revolutionary nature of the historical process. 

i told him that was, arguably, the sort of stuff that creeped me out.   

the fall

one time i had a dream that it was all starting to go down hill - and wasn't going to get any better.

st george

one time i had a dream that it was st. george's day.

no dragons were invited.

fire weather warning

one time i had a dream that there was a fire weather warning as a result of the calendrical reform.

bubbles, my pet-fish, said that it was cylindrical because of a CIA plot.

the main course

one time i had a dream that i was invited to a dinner where the main course that was served was actually giraffe meat.

i told them that i couldn't eat an endangered species.

plus, i explained, i'm vegan - whatever that means.

they said that giraffes are not endangered. i told them that's exactly that kind of attitude that made giraffes go extinct in the first place. 

can you believe it? 

everything retro is hip

one time i had a dream that every thing retro is hip.

my pet fish, bubbles, said this is just dumb. 

he said this is just plain, old fashioned, mud spelt backwards, dumb.

the planter

one time i had a dream that my original ancestor in new york, nakktgeboren zonderbroek, decided to make a living by planting fruit trees. 

he also introduced tank-top shirts to the colonies.

the frog

one time i had a dream that the frog farmer was going on holiday to the tavern.

he said that he had an excess of mud for the coming season. 

we met

one time i had a dream that we met on the railway cars.

the rains

one time i had a dream that the rains arrived.

moose warning

one time i had a dream that the xmas moose appeared out of season to warn me that uncle edward was in grave danger.

he said that only auntie sigrid knew the location of the key to the secret room where uncle edward was being held prisoner.

but she had gone to help cousin delling get settled in south africa now that he was graduated from university.

thursday

one time i had a dream that every Thursday was a genuine spring holiday -- even in winter.

this is mainly because continuity is boredom.