dr martinet's academy

one time i had a dream that bubbles, my pet fish, wrote the chapters of his biography about his time at school. 

he said that he didn't particularly enjoy it.

bubbles said that there was wayyyy too much regimentation. they had to arrive on time, repeat what the lecture said yesterday, and try not to think about life outside of the school. bubbles told me that he once wrote an essay about a radio poet who told funny verse. the dean of the school threatened to expel him because he was supposed to be taking a sociology exam on the sanctity of investment instead of composing essays. 

the dean, dr martinet, told him that bubbles was going to die on the gibbet if he didn't start doing his homework and making better grades at the examinations. however, at the present time, dr martinet said that a friday-night-detention and a week with out lunches would suffice.

they had a very strict dress code, too.

the x-rayed vision

one time i had a dream that i had to get my head x-rayed because of my extra teeth.

after that i was always seeing things, like people's souls, backwards. my pet-fish, bubbles, said that i probably shouldn't talk about it.

the greek bazaar

one time i had a dream that my pet-fish, bubbles, won eighty bucks playing "mind the minotaur" at the greek bazaar. 

chocolate cake

one time i had a dream that an old friend invited me over to her library.

i hadn't seen her in many years, but she had a very well known collection. when i got there none of the books would open unless i had a piece of chocolate cake. she baked it herself.

i selected a volume of poetry by the famous roman author carassius auratus, and was going to read his finely crafted verse, but the sun went down -- and it got too dark to read. his poems, which are often about cows, farming, and rural settings, can be very scary around halloween.

fashion please!

one time i had a dream that gerald, the brother of mathilde - who is the fiancée of my cousin harold, unveiled his latest fashion designs.

he said they were inspired by staircases and the process of refrigeration.

the beaux monde adored his waistcoats.

music

one time i had a dream that o'connell got her fiddle oiled. 

and it was me that was doing the greasing.

the goat restaurant

one time i had a dream that the goat restaurant tried to put a lock on the seasons, but time broke through in 100 gallon drums.

the podcast

one time i had a dream that they gave the daffodils their own pod-cast.

unfortunately, the floor boards were hollow, and the captain of the daffodils fell through. he even broke his leg. it sort of ruined the presentation for the first several episodes and the pod cast never caught on.

it got cancelled by the end of 3 months.

the iron curtain

one time i had a dream that i was detained behind the iron curtain because of my connection to the mustard movement. they revoked my passport and exit documents.

since i was unable to leave, i just took a vacation inside my head. the secret police even kept a file on it. eventually, i was able to convince them that mustard wasn't about east or west, it was about flavour. they said i could leave the country, but i'd have to get smuggled out on a truck load of relish headed to berlin.
from there i was able to cross at check point charlie, and catcha flight from london back to albany.

it wasn't very good relish, but it was free.

new deck of cards

one time i had a dream that my deck of cards arrived just in time for mardi gras.

however, the crossword king shut down the hula-hoop club.