26.11.13

how we didn't meet


one time i had a dream that my pet-fish, bubbles, wrote the chapter of his biography about when i met him.

he got a few things wrong, however.

for example, i wasn't drowning. i know how to swim. 
it was springtime, not autumn, too.

and there are no canals in woodstock.

25.11.13

past apples


one time i had a dream that during old homies' week we had to sing the songs about the sparks that made the apples swell.

24.11.13

piano player


one time i had a dream that my piano lessons had transformed me in a very radical, fundamental, way.


22.11.13

old homies's week


one time i had a dream that i got pulled back into old homies' week.

bubbles, my pet-fish, said that he never knew my posse had horns.

not only that, i told him, we also had a palace.

16.11.13

write your own bio



one time i had a dream that bubbles tried to write his own biography. 

he refused to call it an "autobiography" because he never owned a car.

15.11.13

the time dragon



one time i had a dream that i thought i saw a dragon on the prowl.

it turned out it was actually a robotic observation device that had come through a wormhole.

this made more sense of course.

14.11.13

bubbles's apartment


one time i had a dream that my pet-fish, bubbles, got his own apartment.

it was a little place above a quiet pub in prenarial street. bubbles enjoyed having his own residence that overlooked the traffic of the high street. he'd watch traffic pass by and mock the pedestrians in his mind. he hated their simpleton ways.

people in the pub (it was named "the lucky bishop") started talking about bubbles, however. he had many different guests who he would meet in the pub before they would go upstairs to his flat. prenarial street is a very insular community, given to traditional ways and somber conversation. they thought bubbles was a bit too eccentric -and not in a charming way. they resented his dj skills and they despised his radical politics.

finally, when the first month's rent was due, the landlord came round to see bubbles. the landlord told bubbles that he'd have to find another place to live, things weren't working out, and the pub wanted to open an art gallery in the space.

bubbles said that rent is another form of theft. he moved back into caulkin hall the following month.


13.11.13

save the baby


one time i had a dream that i saved the baby.

but the brat didn't even say "thank you."

10.11.13

8.11.13

new glasses


one time i had a dream that the abbot arnoulf, who is the brother of mathilde -- the fiancée of my cousin harold, had to start wearing glasses.

he wasn't happy about it.

bubbles told him it was no big deal.

7.11.13

she fell off the trestle


one time i had a dream that bubbles's sister, cinnabar, fell off the trestle and got killed.

it was a friday night, around 10:30, in october. it was cold and windy. some of the kids had started a bonfire to keep warm, but she wandered down the tracks to the trestle with a few friends. they could see the landscape around them in the moonlight.

she fell
     like a doom painted leaf
       in autumn -- 
 scarlet tumbling
through pinpoints of 
blue and amber light 
across the dark, cloudless, sky.

even the men in the mouse tower felt sorry for her passing.

5.11.13

the galactic treaty of 1986


one time i had a dream that i found a card celebrating the galactic treaty of 1986.

it celebrated the interplanetary trade agreement and mutual defense program among the solar systems in the milky way. no one could agree on common currency or interplanetary language but they figured they made sufficient progress among the species to commemorate it with a large bash. everyone in the milky way held a great party back in 1986. on earth they called it "galaxy day."

while looking around in the attic of caulkin hall,i found an invitation card for one of the parties.

my pet-fish, bubbles, said that they should have used konkani as the universal language.

4.11.13

now, now, the temper...please.


one time i had dream that gerald threw a temper tantrum when he realised that no-one was impressed by how sharp his wardrobe is.

gerald is one of the brothers of mathilde -- who is the fiancée of my cousin harold. he is a unfamous fashion designer. people didn't take his designs seriously and it angered him. he stamped his feet. he parked his behind in people's chairs and wouldn't let them sit down. he sent out press releases, albeit with spelling mistakes, and emails announcing how important his designs were.

my pet-fish, bubbles, said that gerald was also angry because certain members of the fashion world laughed at the size of his credit score. he told them that he was really good friends with the bankers in switzerland who netted three billion dollars last year.

the bankers wrote back and said they were neutral.

2.11.13

delivery of flowers


one time i had a dream that a butter fairy delivered flowers while you were out to lunch.

1.11.13

embedded in the organelles


one time i had a dream that the red elves tried to show me a map of the galaxy embedded in the organelles of people's cells just in case we got lost.