the day of the lights

 

 

one time i had a dream that they were on the move. ms. rathangan took out her binoculars to scan the skies over the river valley. the star singers came out with their music.

 

time drizzled ointment over the darkened cubes of random chance and unintended circumstance.

 

the miracle of generation and corruption

one time i had a dream that origins and endings operated in unity.

only the stars appeared eternal -- and even that was an illusion. as they hastened away from each other the orbs revealed themselves as creatures caught in time and given to expiration. 

the boat rude

one time i had a dream that i was stuck on a ferry with one of the world's most annoying people: brother filbert from the monastery.

new york had gone to war with vermont. the green mountain state had declared its independence from the united states at a convention in st. albans.  new york had, since colonial times, refused to  completely acknowledge the territorial claims of their neighbours to the east. the empire state kept secret plans for military operations against vermont. in the ny state house members of the legislature made wild speeches about reclaiming their lost counties to the east. they adopted a measure that declared since the vermont government had committed treason, the land reverted to its former status as part of albany county. the green mountaineers responded by declaring the revival of the vermont republic.

the vermontese decided to mint their own "vermont coppers" to replace the penny in their country and established alternative post offices and delivery services in the republic. the postal department of vermont had their own uniforms that were grey with green piping.

after vermont declared renewed independnce, new york responded by mobilizing troops to undertake an armed assault. vermont, with a batalion of volunteers, was able to launch a stealth attack from bennington after the announcement of hostilities. the vermontese moved westward to capture hoosick falls by nightfall (where they looted many paintings by grandma moses). the next day the soldiers of the vermont republic attempted to take the capital city of new york. they planned to arrest the governor and set fire to the state house. they met resistance from a platoon of batavi from albany who rode their swimming horses across the hudson river. the batavi prevented the vermontese troops from moving their assault further westward. the vermontese then hunkered down for a siege of troy.

new york's strategy was threefold. firstly, a fleet from the state navy would leave cumberland bay, some patroling the islands but the larger force moving eastward to bombard burlington, sack colchester -- reducing the city to ashes, sail up the the winooski river with a flotilla of destroyers to montpellier, release the new york marines, and capture the state government. secondly, a division of auxillaries would leave ft wm henry and capture the garrison at rutland. thirdly, a field army would depart from rousses point moving southward to st alban's with assistance from the north country airforce who would also be dropping paratroopers over the line at st. johnsbury.

things hadn't gone so well for the new yorkers because they vermontese had been very clever in defending their homeland including using burning maple syrup to block the roads.

fearing a vermontese assault on ft ticonderoga, the new york government blew up  the crown point bridge that linked chimney point with fort st. frederick.

i had a mustard job to do for a rich lady in shelburne. there was a war going on, but apparently for the upper classes this doesn't matter, they must have their proper condiments. anyway, the way to get across the lake was a special ferry. when i got onboard i saw filbert, but he was yaking on his mobile phone a little bit too loudly.

one man asked him not to speak so loudly and filbert told him to shut up. then another lady asked him why he was being so loud and he told her that she didn't need to know. finally, one of the soldiers on the boat told him he needed to stop being so loud because it was a security risk. filbert told him he didn't know what he was talking about. with that the soldier walked over to filbert, grabbed him by the belt, and threw him into the lake.

he had to swim to shore.  my pet-fish, bubbles, said that it was a good thing that filbert was wearing a life jacket because he didn't really want to save him.

bubbles also said that, technically, filbert's belt was called a cincture. actually, according to bubbles, it belonged to the monastery not the monk.

 

farm camp

one time i had a dream that my friend rode her motorcycle to farm camp. she wore the pink rubber boots for the whole trip.

 

people paid large sums of money to go up to the mountains and live with the cows for the summer.

x country

one time i had a dream that i was travelling cross country by bus.

i missed the bus in west winnemucca, nevada. i wasn't the only one. there were five other travelers. while we were waiting for the next bus to come each of us was given a bowl by a pixie lady. these vessels were to be passed on to a group of dancers in denver.

while we were each carrying our bowl we felt its power try to move us to dance. we attempted to resist it as much as possible, but it still made us tap our feet -- at the very least.

themself

one time i had a dream that they revealed themself to the illuminated whippersnappers.

moods

one time i had a dream that our moods were as mutable as the season of the cicada.   

the ring

one time i had a dream that bubbles, my pet-fish, swallowed a lady's ring. she wanted it back.

it was ms. rathangan who lived on our road in woodstock. she was an expert on falling stars. one afternoon, in late march, bubbles asked her if she wanted to borrow his pruning shears. she said no thank you, but asked if he'd like to see her ring.

bubbles said, he'd be very happy to have a look. the ring was made of tin. she said it came from the wall of her house where she grew up. the house was very old and near the train station. the old steam trains used to spew out sparks from their smoke stacks. the sparks would sometimes land on a house and cause a fire. ms. rathangan said that a hundred years ago, one of the sparks landed on the post office roof, and the place burned down. they built a new brick post office, but the rest of the town put up corrugated tin plates on the outside walls and rooves of their homes.

when they renovated their house her father took down the tin plates, because the train no longer ran on steam, and had them made into a ring. when she left town her father gave her the ring so she would never be far from home.

while bubbles was admiring the craftsmanship, suddenly, the ring slipped off and accidentally sunk into his mouth. he couldn't help swallowing it, because it happened so fast, and he was swimming.

ms. rathangan became very angry. she shouted at him that he was a clumsy idiot. he said it wasn't his fault, and that he doesn't control gravity. she said she should cut him open, get her ring, and serve him for dinner. bubbles called her a wild cannibal who placed great value on worthless shining trinkets.

ms. rathangan sighed. then she composed herself and asked him very quietly and calmly if there was a way they could reach down his throat and pull it out. he suggested she could borrow uncle cuthred's old spear that he brought back from the wars. it was very dull, and if bent properly at the end, maybe they could ("pardon the expression" bubbles said) fish it out.

she said that that didn't seem like a good idea. she asked if pepper made him sneeze. he said sometimes, and it was worth a try. they went to my mustard shop and pulled out a jar of dried pepper. she put some at his nose and he inhaled. bubbles sneezed and flew 5 feet up in the air. however, the ring didn't come out.

bubbles said that one time he had tried to smoke uncle edward's pipe and it made him vomit. he suggested that maybe he could have a smoke and see what happened. so they took down a ceremonial dutch pipe from the mantle piece of one of the fireplaces and borrowed some tobacco from one of the neighbors. ms. rathangan lit up the pipe and bubbles started to smoke.

he started to cough and cough. then, he got more accustomed to the smoke. after a while he started to get bugged out eyes and his face went very pale.

"ick, i don't feel so well, meggers." he said. then he started to retch. he puked up the ring and most of his lunch which had been cheese and broccoli soup. ms. rathangan used the pruning shears to pick up the ring and washed it off on the spigot on the side of the house. then, she put it in her pocket.

bubbles apologized about the whole incident and said that at least she got her ring back. she giggled and said it definitely added a deeper history to the story of the ring. after that, bubbles and she became very close associates of a certain sort.  

spiders in the house of an angry fish

one time i had a dream that there were giant spiders in my cellar. they were crawling over the good port and the cheap sherry. they were very hairy and very scary.

i'd lock the door to the cellar stairs when company would come over, because i was afraid they'd escape. they were probably poisonous or something.

bubbles said we should burn the house down before they murder us.

the flowers of life

one time i had a dream that moonbeams became flowers that gave birth to the first people. 

they came out of the petals.

horse fresco

one time i had a dream that i got to visit the cave of the famous blue horse fresco.

it wasn't in 3D like they told me it was going to be, which was slightly disappointing, but the blue was very bright since it was made from sapphire.

extinguishment

one time i had a dream that in the solitude of my bedroom i witnessed the extinguishing of an epoch. 

medbh

one time i had a dream that i caught a glimpse of the faerie queen.

i wanted to speak to her, but her secretary said that i need to have an appointment. 

lorenza

one time i had a dream that the famous american actress/musician/model, lorenza, recieved a shipment of my mustard.

the man from the desert

one time i had a dream that the man who came out of the desert wanted to have a word with us.

my pet-fish, bubbles, wanted to know how he was able to survive so long with out water. he told bubbles that he knew of underground rivers and hidden pools. he said that certain roots contained a great deal of syrup and he would eat them. he also told bubbles he knew a technique that allowed him to collect the dew in the morning into a funnel and that would also yield drinking water. bubbles was very impressed -- and so was i, actually. 

the gaze

one time i had a dream that i met a lady who used a crystal ball.

she would stare into the orb and eventually visions would appear. sometimes they revealed to her distant events. other times she could look into the past and discern the causes of events that were not apparent in the moment itself.

occasionally, she would look at the current hour and use the orb to understand the connections and disconnections of the present. she would be able to comprehend the meaning of relationships between the most unlikely of events such as the falling of the leaves and the size of the bubbles in the boiling waters of the tea kettle. she would trace tiny filaments of the past into the present and see the web of knotted jewels that surround us and form our minds.

my pet-fish, bubbles, asked her if she could predict the future with her crystal ball. he was thinking about his results at the pachinko parlors. she said that it was possible, but that she rarely did so.

bubbles asked "why?"

she told him that the future is always flickering and the forms were less concrete. when people payed her to know the future, they generally wanted solid answers that would retain their form. all that she could offer them was vague, unnamed, emotions, flickering pigments, and geometries of time that collapsed and reformed.

bubbles told her it didn't matter. he said that he knew one day the working class would rise up and seize the method of production. the surplus value created by labor would return to the proletariat and eventually the state would wither away. history would reach a conclusion.

bubbles said that her notions of diachrony were flawed -- as was evident in the crystal ball's inability to generate any synthesis in predicatively equivalent forms.

the crystal ball lady said this sounded very spooky and full of conjecture. 

bubbles said she should trade in her crystal ball for a sewing machine, a bicycle, a wristwatch, or a radio.

she said that she'd have to wait and see. her name was alexandra.

birthday

one time i had a dream that it was my country's birthday.

leaving caulkin hall

one time i had a dream that i had to go out into the snow to post a letter. it was very important.

while i was walking out the door of caulkin hall, i slipped on some ice that was hidden beneath the newly fallen snow. on my way down i sprained my ankle. it hurt. 

i continued walking to the post office and mailed the letter. when i got back my ankle was hugely swollen. and, it was very sore. i came inside and took of my slippers. i probably should have worn boots in the snow - but i was in a hurry. i got some ice and put it on my ankle.

i decided to spend the rest of the week-end listening to classical music and eating cereal. fortunately, i had plenty of milk.

cinnabar backfisch

one time i had a dream that bubbles's sister, cinnabar backfisch, was still alive and invited herself over for a visit.

one thursday afternoon i was returning from the store with a package of yarn (i was going to knit a sweater for cousin delling who was going to south africa after university), when i noticed that one of windows was open and missing its screen. i thought there might be a break in, or possibly -- and honestly, more likely -- bubbles was up to something.

when i walked into the kitchen, i saw cinnabar backfisch sitting at the table. she was leaning back in the chair with the front legs lifted off the ground. she asked me where i had been and how long i intended to let her sit there without offering her anything. i opened my mouth to greet her, but she interupted me and asked if i wanted a cup of coffee.

i told her that she shouldn't drink coffee because it would stunt her growth. she laughed at that. i noticed that she had used my cappuccino machine and had left a huge mess in the kitchen. there was milk foam surrounding the machine, grains of sugar across the floor, and a fine grit of ground espresso in a trail on the counter from the container to the coffee machine. i was afraid to open the fridge and see what kind of damage she had done.

when cinnabar noticed the package in my hands she asked "what have you got for me?" i told her it was yarn to knit a sweater for my cousin delling. she wanted to know when i was going to knit a sweater for her. i told her i didn't know her address, so i didn't know where to send it. she asked if i had ever heard of email. i was going to tell her that you can't email a sweater, but realized she'd only reply "yet" and decided not to say anything at all.

when i went upstairs to put the yarn in the closet, i also went into the bathroom. cinnabar had been there too. she had taken a shower and helped herself to my linen closet. she had dripped water everywhere, used my toothbrush, and left her dirty towel laying on the floor. it was very annoying. i wondered where bubbles himself had gone off to.

i came downstairs and found cinnabar sitting in the kitchen, with a cheese sandwich -- she used my best wensleydale -- doing a crossword puzzle from the newspaper. i asked her what she had been up to lately.

she said "a little of this, a little of that." she said she was in town to go to the swiss army knife convention. i asked how long she would be in town. cinnabar said "not too long. i don't like to get bogged down, dude." then, she asked if i could give her a lift to the train station on saturday morning. i asked her what time because i was going to the opera on friday night and would be out late. she said "around noon, then." i agreed. i told her that she could use the guest bedroom, but she said that she preferred to sleep on the couch.

i wasn't sure where bubbles was. cinnabar said that she would call him. he didn't answer, so she left him a voicemail. then she started texting people and essentially ignored my attempt to make conversation. occasionally, she'd nod her head and say "right." when i'd take a breath.

bubbles called and told us that he had a gig in buffalo (it was last minute) and he wouldn't be home until the next week. he told cinnabar that he was sorry that he missed her (i suspect he was only partially telling the truth) and that he hoped to see her soon, and that she should check out buffalo sometime.

i asked cinnabar if she wanted to go out to dinner. we could go to the new greek restaurant that everyone was raving about or we could go for alsatian food. she told me that she wasn't a vegan anymore, and that she had ordered chinese food to be delivered. when i asked what she had ordered, she told me to calm down because she was "gunna" share.

after dinner, she said she had somethings to take care of and would be back later. she came back a few hours later with a few packets of chips and some lemonade. she opened the chips and they spilled out across the coffee table. cinnabar put her boots on the coffee table (perilously close to the chips - you could feel the germs jumping from her feet to the chips) and turned on the inter-dimensional tv and flipped around the channels. she asked if i had some sheets for the couch because she was tired and wanted to get some sleep.

the next morning she was gone before i awoke. however she used my toothbrush and the last of the toothpaste. her dirty clothes were on the bathroom floor with another dirty towel. she spilled nail polish on the window sill. there were a pile of dirty dishes in the table (she made herself an omelette). i didn't hear from her all day and i guess that she was checking out the swiss army knives. she had told me while we were eating dinner that she was looking for a particular knife with a saw with 42 teeth, and she thought there might be a dealer of them at this show. that night i went to the opera.

when i came home that night, all of the lights in the house on. i figured that she was having a party and expected to see drunk people jumping out of the windows. instead the house was very quiet. i walked into the kitchen and found cinnabar and her friends sitting on the floor in a circle playing spin the bottle. my bundles of yarn were on the floor. they had unwound them and were wrapping one another up in the yarn. some of them had little crowns made of yarn on their heads.

i was quite happy to take her to the train station in rhinecliff the next day.

she was headed to renssalaer station. when she got on the train, she said "i'm blowing this popsicle stand." 

naaktgeboren zonderbroek

one time, i had a dream that my original ancestor in the new world, naaktgeboren zonderbroek, arrived in new york.

he was dutch. he woke up on the beach. it was on the banks of the hudson river. the tide had pulled him upstream and planted him near the roundout. it was morning. the sky was overcast and there was intermittent drizzle that tickled his cheek. he wasn't wearing any clothes. while he was wiggling around, trying to stay afloat in the tremendous waves, the currents and the wind pulled off his shirt and knickerbockers. at one point he found a piece of the wreck and tried to use it to float. it was pushed out of his hands by the current.

after he awoke, he got up and walked along the strand. there was no one around. all he could hear was the sound of the rain hitting the stones. he wondered how he was going to survive in the vast wilderness. then, he looked around. there were grape vines everywhere. he saw pear trees and wild apples. there were blueberry bushes and strawberry runners. there were raspberries and mulberries. he saw dandelions and wild onions. all of these he could eat raw. with further inspection, he noticed that the river and the creek were teaming with, especially, shad, but also many other fish. he tasted the water and found it sweet. there were rabbits and ducks. he didn't know about turkeys yet, but they were there too. there were mushrooms and sunflowers. there were wild beans growing and squashes and pumpkins. there were melons and cherries. the trees were dropping walnuts and hickory nuts right before him. the wild bees were making honey that was good to eat.

"i might starve here alone and by myself," he thought. "who will do the cooking?" he wondered.

you see, back then, he was sort of sexist.